family first

today we ventured north to ellijay, ga for some apple picking!! i have been looking forward to this trip for quite a few weeks and anticipated both its joy and satisfaction for all. little bb had a blast! having watched one too many episodes of curious george and the apple barn, he knew exactly what to do! he spotted the processing room right away...noticing the apples coming off the belt, being bagged, etc. to his dismay (i assume) we did not witness the juicing of apples to make both apple juice and/or cider, as they do on curious george, although the "general store" carried both. to MY dismay, we forgot to try the apple cider doughnuts! brayden LOVED it though. not only did he find it hillarious seeing daddy jump to pick jumbo red romes left at the treetops, but he picked a few himself, he shot an apple canon, walked through a petting farm and proudly named each animal, and passed at the chance for a hayride because he was too pooped from walking the orchards and searching for apples. in fact, he asked for "home." we picked mostly red rome, with a few golden delicious, fuji, and maybe some winesaps and braeburns mixed in. i'm honestly not sure of some of the red varieties because at one point, i took brayden by myself while chris fed little miss and we wandered in between rows instead of going up and down and paying attention to the signs. hmmm... oh well. i was really just trying to hurry and fill the bag! both kids fell asleep on way there and both fell asleep on way home. nice job mom and dad! :)

good-bye summer, hello pre-school!

when you have a baby in the summer, it's not very fun or fair for the older sibling because in the killer heat of summer, all you feel like doing is staying inside...and the LAST thing you feel like doing is 1) putting on a swimsuit, and 2) see yourself in it! BUT...Brayden and I did have one last hurrah at a neighbor's pool before he started school.

Brayden is now attending pre-school at a local church 2 days a week and LOVES it!! We are more than pleased with the program and what he is learning. He comes home with new words and phrases each day. The other morning he woke up and immediately asked for a snack. When I told him it was 7am and time for breakfast, he said "okay, cool!" The 3 hour naps when he gets home are an added bonus too :). Tonight, he had a "date with Dad" sponsored by the school, and presented Chris with a plate he'd made with his handprint on it. We love the social and academic exposure he is getting at such a young age!

At 6 weeks Neely showed significant signs of improvement. As a result we were on our way to establishing a routine and getting on a schedule. So...we gladly dropped the kids off with Grandma and Grandpa and took off on a date. We enjoyed wandering around Dahlonega for the day and touring Three Sisters Vineyard.

blessings

wow! I had no idea sweet nee-nee would be 3 months old by the time i finally got on to blog about how life has changed, how much we love her adorable chubby cheeks, and how grateful we are that our GREAT GOD spared her life so that we could know her, love her, and tell Brayden not to bounce the basketball on her head! I have literally written 15-20 blog posts in my mind, titled them, edited them, and then considered what a great invention it would be if a machine existed that could transcribe my thoughts to paper/the computer. But, alas, it does not, and so, I am simply very, very behind in this online journal of our lives as a family of now four.

I've been thinking alot lately about Laura Story's song Blessings. We are lucky enough to have Laura as one of our main worship leaders at our church here in Atlanta. I was introduced to the song just after the test that seemed to indicate Neely would have a chromosomal abnormality and may not survive the pregnancy. A dear friend asked me if I'd heard it and encouraged me to listen closely to its lyrics, praying that I would be strengthened and comforted by its message. I've included the lyrics below.

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching(s) of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise

We'd waited 10 long months to meet Neely and had watched God perform more than one miracle in saving her life! She was beautiful! She was perfect! She was healthy! She was "a fighter, a champion" and she was finally here...with us. We were grateful. And then everything drastically changed...the first night home from the hospital she literally cried for 9 hours straight!! And that was the beginning... The whole first month was horrible. She screamed and cried for 6-8 hrs a day and nothing would calm her--not the swing, not the bouncer, not the mobile hanging over the pack-n-play, not the paci, NOTHING!! By nighttime, thankfully, she would sleep 4-5 hours because she was so exhausted from her daytime rants. Although it was clear her tummy was the problem, we could not pinpoint the issue. Naturally, all of my confidence went out the window...my hopes of quickly having her on a schedule, establishing her routine, breastfeeding longer with her than with Brayden (by controlling my migraines--what a joke!), and easily transitioning her into our family. Praise God for friends who brought meals because I was constantly dealing with an upset baby. Sweet Brayden transitioned beautifully, except for one week of throwing toys and hitting furniture, as if to say "I've had it with this crying! Could someone please show ME some attention?!" After stripping nearly everything from my diet, we finally figured out that she was having to work too hard to digest the lactose from the milk. When the doctor suggested we try Similac Sensitive, we said, "YES! Anything!" It was literally an overnight miracle!!! She was suddenly content, happy, calm, satisfied, quiet, could sleep, would sleep...I was shocked! In truth, I did not think it was possible. I'm embarrassed now to admit it, but I honestly was worried that she would never smile, would never like the bouncy seat or the swing, that she would be a fussy baby, inconsolable, and I was going to have to figure out how to live with this miserable crying for the next year of my life, and figure out how to smile about it because that's what everyone expects you to do...Smile! You have a new baby!

Underneath all of the circumstance though, I could sense Jesus calling...calling me to come and sit at His feet, to take His yoke "because it is easy and His burden is light." And in those quiet moments of desperation and fear, when I lay wide awake in the dark at night, wondering what the next day would bring, I had nothing left to do but cry out for help, for strength, for perseverance, for wisdom, for deliverance. We were at the end of ourselves. No booksmarts or prior experience seemed to matter at that point; we simply needed Jesus to intervene our hearts and calm our fears and graciously give us whatever we needed to care for Neely and to love her in the process. And it's these moments that remind us that "this is not our home." This is where the song comes in. All my life I've prayed for "blessings" and I interpret those blessings to mean "good" things, and there's not necessarily anything wrong with that, but at my core I also want life to be easy and I want to be happy; I don't want to suffer and somewhere I think I "deserve" that. But God in His goodness interprets blessings different than me, so He challenges my so-called life of ease so that I will cry out for help in the middle of night, so that I will experience need. Now, looking back, the beauty of those moments is that I was confident of Christ's presence then more than ever, and yet I was so desperate for the circumstances to change. Life this side of eternity will not get better. If anything, the longer we walk with Jesus, it will only get harder. This should increase our longing for heaven, when pain and suffering will finally be no more. I look at Neely now and you would NEVER know that she was so much work in the beginning. I look at her and see a life so precious, a life we almost never knew and am beyond words in expressing just how grateful we are that she is here to grace us with her bright, beaming smile! She is an absolute doll! She is filled with smiles, giggles even, and so full of life. In some ways I feel like I am trying to make up for lost time with her each time we snuggle or play. She is quite the active child and we're all convinced she'll by walking by 9 or 10 months, unlike her big-headed brother Brayden, who didn't walk until 17 months! What a gift, a blessing she is in our lives...a reminder each day of God's presence, faithfulness and goodness!

Proud, curious big brother

She's HERE!!!

Neely Jane Phillips entered the world on June 15, 2011 at 1:06 pm, weighing 7 lbs and measuring 18 3/4" long. We are grateful and overjoyed to finally see her sweet face and hear her cries of life! She is welcomed by mommy and daddy and big brother Brayden!!

Sittin' on ready...

36 weeks

38 weeks

The counters are sealed, the floors mopped and vacuumed, all is dusted and windexed, clothes have been laundered, diapers stocked, bottles and paci sterilized, fridge and pantry stocked, and clean sheets and towels laid out for mom and dad when they get here. We are ready! In just 2 short days we will welcome little Neely Jane into the world. We are so ready to meet this precious child whom God has spared and granted life. My doctor has said for the past several ultrasounds that she appears to be very healthy, active and have lots of hair. I am selfishly hoping of course that she has a head full of dark hair, with dark eyes to match! More seriously, we are praying that she WILL be healthy, with no complications during or after the birth. Her nursery is all finished and big brother Brayden is excited to meet the cause of the bulge in mommy's tummy. Check back for updates...we will post as soon as we are able. Praise be to God for this little miracle!!

You're 2!!!

Happy 2nd Birthday to our little boy! Time flies, doesn't it?! What a joy and privilege (and challenge) it has been to learn how to care for you, love you, parent you, and teach and train you. You are a remarkable little boy...our own "curious george" we like to say.


At two years old, you weigh 29.5 lbs and are 35.5" tall. You wear a size 7 shoe and seem to outgrow your shoes within 1-2 months of purchase. You are jabbering all the time, 50% of which is unidentifiable speech. It makes perfect sense to you, but we often struggle to understand what you're asking or saying. You love to ask where something or someone is..."where'd it go?", "Where da ball?", "Where pot (Spot)?", etc... You still love books and we love to see you "read" to yourself, asking questions about what you might see on a page and answering yourself too. You've figured out that "please" is what Mommy and Daddy want to hear, so you say it all the time, especially when YOU want something...doesn't always work! You've also figured out how to say the "sh" sound, so can now say "show" and not only hand us the remote, but jump up and down screaming "show, show, show!" This, too, doesn't always work...but it is cute! You love to brush your teeth, and having mastered the alphabet, are learning your shapes, colors and numbers. You can count to 4 when concentrating and know most primary colors. Although, when in doubt, the color is always blue! We've started asking who made you and you answer "Gawd," and this absolutely melts our hearts. You are still a pistol when it comes to night-night though. Sometimes you will go straight to bed after brushing teeth, reading books and saying prayers, and other nights, you are determined to get up 10x and open your door and "cry" for one of us to come get you. This earns you a spanking as we are teaching you to stay in your bed, that it is time to sleep, not play. You say "whee" as you come down the stairs each morning and run usually straight to the back door, desiring to play outside at 7am. You love to color! You have improved so much in holding the crayons and making large, dark scribbles on the page. You've also broken almost all of your crayons, necessitating Mommy to buy new ones. Hands down, spaghetti is still your favorite meal and you are doing so well with the fork. You are also a milk machine! I try to get you to drink more water, but you are constantly asking for "mickle, mickle," while running to the fridge. You have finally learned to love the tube slide at Chick-fil-a. Having braved it by yourself the first time a few days ago, you cannot get enough of its fun, and we LOVE to see the bright smile and hear the giggles as you come down.


Happy 2nd Birthday Brayden! We love you oh so much and thank God for the precious little boy you are. He has fashioned you so perfectly, so creatively, so wonderfully. We look forward to many more years of watching you grow and develop and pray that at a young age, you would choose Jesus to be King of your heart. We are so proud of you!

-Mommy and Daddy

c-section it is!

June 15th we will have our baby girl!! At least, that's the plan... Since Neely is still breech and seems packed in there, my doctor and I decided to go ahead and schedule the c-section, so that a)hopefully I can get an early morning time slot, and b)if she does turn, however unlikely, we can cancel the surgery. We will re-evaluate at 37 weeks when I see Dr. Gomez again, my perinatologist, for my final ultrasound. As much as I would prefer Neely to turn, it's kind of nice knowing what to expect and having the luxury of putting a plan in place. If she is delivered on June 15th, Neely and Brayden will be exactly 2 yrs and 2 wks apart. I think we're seeing joint birthday parties in their future :). In the meantime, I am beginning to taste the sentiments of "let's get this party started." I am feeling ready to be done with pregnancy...not at my wits end, but just very uncomfortable and ready to sleep on my stomach again! The technician who did my scan this week said Neely already has lots of hair (I so hope it's dark!) and weighs close to 6 lbs!! She also appears very active and healthy. We are so grateful and can't wait to meet her.