Don't Mess with Mama

Last Friday I took Brayden for his 9 month well-check. It was the long-awaited moment--the new head measurement. At Bray's 6 month appt, the dr. informed Chris that she was concerned about Brayden's larger head circumference and the rate that it seemed to be increasing, BUT that she felt safe to wait until the 9 month mark to do any further investigating. As any mother would, I quickly phoned the doctor and in the meantime, did what I knew not to do: googled "larger head circumference in infants" on the internet. Bad decision.
On Friday I was told that his head has continued to grow at an increasingly alarming rate and because it registers >95% on the growth chart, it warrants special attention. I was also told the she suspects Brayden is already experiencing gross motor delay, as a result of an enlarged cranium. I left the doctor's office feeling frustrated, confused, anxious, defensive, and protective of "my little cub."
Brayden is a big boy! He weighs 23 lbs., measures almost 30" long, and happens to have a large head. Is that okay? Chris has said multiple times that big heads run in his family. When I answered that Brayden was not yet pulling up on furniture all the way to his feet, or holding onto furniture to bend down for a toy, or crawling yet, this was suddenly labeled as "gross motor delay." Brayden is, however, spinning around on his tummy, using his hands and feet to pivot, he is scooting (mostly backwards), he is pulling up on his bumper pad, and stands only when Chris or me hold him at his waist. In my heart of hearts, I really feel that Brayden is fine, but he is scheduled to have a CT scan tomorrow afternoon at 4:30 to assess whether there is fluid, or any other abnormality, on his smart brain.
Recently, God has made it clear to me that I still struggle to believe in His ultimate goodness, to believe that I can trust Him 100%, to believe that what is important to me also matters to Him, and so this small (or rather large) piece of surrender with Brayden is totally by design. I must trust that someone greater than myself is in control and is caring for Brayden while he is in the CT machine, while the technicians are snapping the necessary images of his brain and while the radiologist reads them. I must trust that all this will be done thoroughly and accurately and trust the results to God. He has promised never to give us more than what we can handle, so if this ends up badly, I know He will give me the strength to handle it. Please pray. Thank you.