surrender

my big boy bray is almost 3...hard to believe!! we are so proud of the little boy he is and has become...kind, curious, compassionate, gentle, has a smile that lights up a room, and a real love and interest in the company of others. at the same time, he is a toddler and is ALL BOY and can certainly be belligerent, rough, lack patience, throw, hit, and send us over the edge with his tantrums when he doesn't get his way.

lately chris and i have been concerned with his ever-increasing obsession with the alphabet. he literally does abc's ALL DAY LONG...so much so that it seriously drives me crazy. it is not cute anymore. i hate to sound so crude, but he has known the alphabet since he was about 18 months and could recite the whole thing, as well as his shapes, colors, and numbers when he entered 2 yr old pre-school this year. there is something about the alphabet that he is attracted to...he sings it, he recites it, he lays the letters out IN A STRAIGHT LINE, he inquires as to the whereabouts of a letter if it's missing, he goes to bed with letters, you get the picture. to curb this "appetite" we have been trying to redirect and show him how letters go together to make words (he knows hundreds of words) and help him sound words out. he loves this and is making definite progress in this direction, (which is awesome for reading!) but still ABC's are ALL i hear!

well this week i had an end-of-the-year conference with his teacher that actually i declined because they're optional, but she stopped me in the carpool line to request it, stating she had "some concerns about his moving up to the 3's class next year." honestly i was dumbfounded. other than not being fully potty-trained, i could not think of why he would not move up. i was made aware earlier in the year that he was the youngest in his class and on occasion it showed. i had noticed the few times i'd been there for class functions that he seemed a little emotionally immature compared to the other, but..."every child develops differently and boys tend to lag behind," right??!! after being nervous all weekend about what concerns there might be, i met with his teacher on wednesday. i felt like a bombshell had been dropped on me. i'm so glad neely was there for me to look at because she kept me smiling while on the inside i was about to lose it. we'd gone from "no concerns, everything's great" in november to a list of about 10-12 concerns in may! academically, he's ahead, but in almost every other area he's apparently behind. speech--puts 4-5 words together for sentences; other kids talking in paragragh form, telling stories; dexterity--refuses to hold a pencil, throws it across the room; also refuses to hold scissors, so still cannot cut or manipulate this motion, when others have mastered the skill; social/play time--little to no interest in playing with others; plays mostly by himself while others have not only moved on from side-by-side play, but are playing WITH each other and doing things in groups; does not interact with others at lunchtime, eats his lunch while talks to himself or sings ABC's! PE--similar to social/play time, only while others are learning to play in two's or as a team (relay races), bray has been spinning in a circle or crawling across the bball court "like a snake." it was her lunchtime story that broke my heart and i began to cry...she said the other kids are busy talking to each other and he just sits there! that makes me so sad bc i know he loves other children and he's not shy, so i don't know why this is happening or what is going on. anyway, she suggested for us to have him evaluated and recommended that we hold him back and have him repeat the 2's next year. well, i am a definite advocate for early intervention, so if there is something going on with him developmentally, we certainly want to identify it and attact it EARLY, but i am not a fan of repeating the 2's. academically he would go nuts!! right now he could list 10 words that begin with each letter of the alphabet.

SO....where do we go from here? thanks to another friend who unfortunately has experienced similar concerns, i sort of knew some of my options. after speaking with my pediatrician, we basically had 3 routes to take: go through our neurologist (because of Bray's history of seizures), contact an occupational therapist (private practice--$$), or go the county school board route. for now, we are going the public school route. they offer FREE developmental screenings for children ages 3-5 prior to Kindergarten in order to assess whether they qualify for services, identify which services, and then fully service these children to ready them for a general ed classroom when it's time for Kindergarten. (btw, sorry this post is sooo long!) chris and i both contacted the lady in charge of this program in hopes we could get bray screened on friday (yesterday) since it was the LAST screening of the year! she did call back (praise GOD!!) there were no time slots available, but she was so nice and compassionate and said even though it is a crazy time of year, she would make a special arrangement for us. you can be praying for us on monday, may 21st at 9am---he will be screened then with a speech-language pathologist, an occupational therapist, the head of the Special Education dept and this woman, Kristi Quinn, head of pre-school services. i am SOOO grateful!! please pray for this time and for the evaluation, that it would be an honest portrayal of what would typically be seen if Bray were in the classroom. pray also that we would get some answers and know where to go from here, how to best serve/love him and care for him as parents and educators. we surrender our fears and our child to Jesus, knowing bray is fearfully and wonderfully made and our wonderful Lord has an awesome plan for his precious little life! whew...