I know it is hard to believe a face this cute could cause distress and frustration, but it's true: we are officially in SURVIVAL MODE! Brayden has been more than fussy for the past few days, and as a result, we are not sleeping much. While it pains me to see his face turn red while crying, it also exhausts me in playing the guessing game about what could possibly be wrong... Hungry? No. Need a clean diaper? No. Hot or cold? No. Need to be swaddled? No. The list goes on and on and in the meantime, I feel like I'm committing child neglect when I can't accurately respond to his persistent cries. I love his tiny little body nuzzled up to me, but when he wails, I want to run!
Chris has been more than gracious in supporting and helping me out. Last night we tried to transition Brayden to his nursery. It didn't go well. Chris offered to get up with him for his 2am feeding and I quickly said "OK." Of course, there was no "getting up" because we had been up with his crying all night, so by 1:30am I told Chris to go ahead and feed him. In the meantime I fell asleep, only to wake at 6am to crying in the monitor and finding Chris in the bonus room on a pallet of blankets and comforters. He said he was up until 3 with Brayden. I felt terrible for him. O Lord, give us the strength and grace and wisdom to love Brayden well and discern his tears.
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