The New "Normal"

Brayden turned 6 weeks old yesterday! It is hard to believe 6 full weeks have passed since we sat in the hospital, anxious to meet our baby boy, waiting to be called back to our delivery room. What a whirlwind these weeks have been! I remember sitting in the recovery room with Brayden, watching him sleep, thinking "how in the world am I going to take care of him?" and wondering too, just how drastic my life had immediately changed. It changed all right! Nothing is the same. This process of coming into my "new self" as a a new mom has been quite the challenge. At first I kept waiting for "normal" to return, but finally I understand that it never will. I think I thought we'd have this cute new baby and eventually we'd figure out how to work him into our routine, our "normal." Not so! I had a list of books to read and knew I would finish them all since all babies do is eat, sleep and poop. Yeah, right! (Those of you with kids are laughing in agreement). Just as I couldn't have imagined how intense the pain of contractions were, I couldn't have imagined how tired and exhausted I would be on a DAILY basis. I pride myself in how many things I can accomplish in a given day. I love the feeling of setting out to do 10-12 things and knocking them all out, only to repeat the process the following day. While Chris and I have had to learn to relate to each other in new ways, as PARENTS, I have struggled to accept that taking care of a newborn is #1-no easy job, and #2-a full time job, even if the only thing I have to show for at the end of the day is a trash can full of dirty diapers and spit up on my t-shirt. I'm lucky if I shower, and on most days, the clock reads 11 am before I've had a chance to brush my teeth. Wow, is life different!! We love this little bundle though and that's the other part.

We have been so consumed with Brayden (understandably so) that Chris and I have struggled to connect. So in order to aid that, last Saturday we asked the grandparents (Phillips) to babysit so we could go to dinner. What a lovely evening! If we had known before Brayden how precious our time together would be, we wonder if we would have done things differently...but it's hard to anticipate and foresee how a new reality will affect you. It was fun getting ready for our date, as I felt like we were unmarried and dating all over again. I had a new dress to wear and made sure to spray perfume; I felt sort of giddy inside, and nervous too, wondering what important things we would talk about. We went to a fabulous restaurant: The Park Cafe in downtown Duluth. The restaurant is located in an historic house that dates back to 1899. Chris had the salmon, while I opted for shrimp and grits, and we both enjoyed fried green tomatoes as an appetizer. I cried through the whole meal, as I shared with Chris all of my deepest thoughts and fears and struggles that have seemed to surface since Brayden. Love those hormones! We walked around downtown after dinner, holding hands and feeling like two kids who'd suddenly fallen in love. When we got back to the car, I was tempted to call and see how Brayden was doing, but I resisted, knowing our phones would ring if something was wrong. That one night was enough to recharge our batteries. When we returned home, we were both thrilled to see our lil' man and energized to give all over again. Thanks, Grandma and Grandpa P. And thanks Chris for a great date!